The Seven Chairs

The Seven Chairs
A Protuge Parody By: Jeff McBeef

Protuge "The Seven Chairs" (Ideas borrowed from JRR Tolken) By: Jeff McBeef

Introduction
Once upon a time, there were seven chairs. They were magical chairs at one time, but after the dark ages, like most good things, they were lost and forgotten.
* * *
One day in the second dark age of eastern pacific time Earth, a boy was helping his grandmother clean out the cellar. All of the sudden, the stack of chairs in the corner started glowing. The boy said, "Grandma, why are those chairs glowing?" "Huh?", said his grandmother. Then suddenly she shouted, "Oh great dirty darn rotten rockafroch!" as she ran over to the chairs as fast as her little granny-legs could carry her. When she reached the chairs, she put her arm out, and they rose. She immediately jumped down on the chairs and flew off. Her last words to her grandson were, "don't forget to put away the Tupperware!"
* * *
She gave six of the seven chairs to the other leaders of the last dark ages.
* * *
The Lord of the Chairs

The First Chair for the England-Queen under the sky,
Two for the retired of the Real Estate company,
The Fourth for a farmer who hopes not to die,
The Fifth for a Nun in the French of France,
The Sixth for an inventor of Germany,
And One, the Seventh of the seven chairs, she kept herself - The One
One Chair to rule them all. One Chair to find them,
One Chair to bring them all and in the darkness fine dine with them
In the land of Dormor where the shadows lie.

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TO BE CONTINUED

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